Can't Sleep

It's 540am on Saturday, and I can't sleep. Why is it that I can always sleep during the week when I need to get up and can't on the weekends when I don't have to get up for work?

Yesterday, I got up and got the girls ready for school, we were less than a mile from school and Jess told me her stomach hurt. At first, I thought she just didn't want to go to school, but she held her stomach and did a little wiggle that you can only do right when it really hurts. So, we took Jordie to school and Jess to the Dr. The dr said she has a bladder infection and gave us anti-biotics. A couple of things that are worrying me about all of this are that she couldn't peepee and she got sick in the toilet yesterday afternoon. Why can't she go potty? And does a bladder infection cause vomiting? I am watching her close, to say the least.

When I called my boss to tell her that Jess was sick, she sighed at me. I don't think that's a good sign but my baby has to come first.

James and I talked about money right before bed last night. I think that is why I can't sleep.

I am hoping that when it gets dark tonight, I can talk everyone into going to look at Christmas lights. Well, I am sure that I can convince the girls. I don't know how James will feel about it. Jordan is at the really fun age where the lights make her practically speechless, aside from the occasional "wow". We are wrapping the last of the kids gifts tonight after they are in bed. It should be fun to get to wrap gifts with James for our first Christmas together. This Christmas will be perfect if we can get Christian. It will be a great Christmas either way. We have to stop giving Rachel so much power in our lives as to ruin every special day that comes around.

At Thanksgiving, Rachel wanted Christian, James said OK, as long as he had him for Christmas. She said that wasn't a problem because he always has him for Christmas. Now, Rachel says James can't have him, that he is going to be with Buddy and Louise. James told her that they aren't Christian's parents and they should not be given priority over his Dad who loves him and wants to see him for Christmas. He also told her that he will be there at 7am on Christmas morning to pick him up. My guess is that this will be a repeat of our Wedding day. They will be playing games about where he is etc. Hopefully, they will prove me wrong. I would love it if Rachel would open the door on Sunday morning and let Christian go with James with no games, no ill will, no bad words or contempt towards him. Just a pleasant Christmas morning. I can hope.

I just remembered that I do have to be up this morning, not this early but I do have to be up. I am taking Jess to see Milan so they can "Build a Bear" at the mall. The mall on Christmas eve... should be an adventure. I have to make sure to take the stroller.

I've been trying to let Jordie walk on short trips into the mall, she needs to learn to hold hands and walk with mommy and not touch BUT I am not even going to try it on Christmas eve.

I suppose I will try to get another hour or so of sleep before I have to get up for the day.

Merry Christmas!